"World of Faith"

Tonight has been awkward for me... Haven't been to SNA for a little while. I knew as I walked into the backroom of SNA, everything inside me, made me felt like I was depressed. I also felt full of anger. I had no idea why I was feeling this way. I wish I knew but it was odd that I didn't know what...

During worship tonight I was praying so deeply and I haven't prayed like that in ages. God said something to me tonight... and he said "Don't be afraid. Don't be ashamed." I was wondering what he meant by that and asked in my mind "Afraid of what? and ashamed of what?" but he didn't reply before Tom faded while playing his guitar and said "Amen." Afterwards I really wanted to cry... and I couldn't tell if it was either sad or happy or a mixture of what I was feeling to make me feel crying. I really wanted to pray more... but there wasn't enough time... and SNA had to move on with the announcements and the talk. One of the announcements was the birthdays... I really didn't expect that to come up. Standing in front of SNA was kind of weird... plus saying that I'm "seventeen" towards the microphone was weird too... I really did feel like running away... I couldn't stand the "happy birthday" song any longer... so... all I did is look at the ground and not look at people's faces. But I smiled while looking down...

At the end of SNA I was still figuring out of what God said to me. Then I told my friend, Pam, about of what God said to me and also said how I thought SNA wasn't that great for me tonight. Probably I said that because of the people... I felt like most of them were giving me bad impressions...
I just want to say to SNA, sorry that I ran away after prayer in the backroom... I guess I was ashamed... of people singing happy birthday to me... or maybe something like that. well... nothing much to say... but to say that I love everyone that I know... thank you for making it special... I'm pretty happy. Thats all... Ciao!

posted by Kath @ Saturday, February 28, 2004